George Alexander Louis.
Nice name the duke and duchess gave their newborn son. Or, should I say it's a nice name Willie and Katie gave their boy?
Quite a fuss was made about the boy who is third in line to be king of England. As soon as word got out Kate was pregnant, the press busied itself with every possible story. Would it be a boy? A girl? Will it be a king or queen, in other words. We were fed more updates on the pregnancy than any normal couple gets during their pregnancy. It's a wonder live tweets and Facebook updates, complete with ultrasound images, weren't sent out. Actually, if someone in the media could have gotten away with that, it would have happened.
Then came the birth watch. Media surrounded the hospital and all the talk was about the impending birth. American broadcasters did not have the stilted delivery their British counterparts have, but both were just as excitable in talking about the arrival of the royal baby.
I think it would have been more exciting if we could have had John Madden standing by and giving a play by play.
CAN'T YOU JUST HEAR MADDEN STAMMERING as he draws on the screen and describes how many centimeters the duchess is dliated? Again, it's really a wonder we did not have that detailed a report emanating from the hospital.
Next up? The name game. Oh, that was painful to listen to as talking heads and entertainment world gossipers alike pondered what moniker the future king would be given. Actually, the name game began before that, when no one knew whether a queen or king would be born.
Naturally, William and Kate followed protocol when it came to naming their son, but some of us really wish they'd gone with something different.
While we Americans are, for some reason, so taken by the Royal Family, we also know the Royal Family has a love affair with America. Wouldn't it have been nice, then, if William and Kate had gone with something more American? Maybe even southern. His Royal Highness, King Bubba has a nice ring to it. Maybe Skeeter? Scooter? There was a great suggestion posted on Facebook by Paul Crutcher, the man behind the mike at Lander's XLR. He suggested "Fresh." Yeah, that's right, the Fresh Prince of Cambridge.
STICKING WITH OTHER ROYAL THEMES, they could have considered Jewel, but that's been taken. Besides, that's not too masculine. Crown Jewel might be masculine, but I wouldn't have recommended it. The single name opens all sorts of opportunities. The duke and duchess could have gone Michael Jackson on everyone. Maybe not Paris, but how about Avon? Bath? Stafford? Or how about a nod to the Beatles? Liverpool.
Names carry plenty of meaning and are especially carefully selected by the Royal Family. Something about all that lineage and whatnot to keep up with. And if William and Kate do have a girl, I do hope they resist the temptation to name her in honor and memory of William's mother, Diana. The poor girl wouldn't be able to lead much of a normal life as it is, but imagine the unfair and constant comparisons people would make.
POSTSCRIPT: THINKING ABOUT names and just how oddly appropriate some are, senior staff writer Chris Trainor was guffawing (I have not had a chance to use that word in years! Plus, I got to use an exclamation mark just now.) about the headlines New York tabloids are running for their coverage of Anthony Weiner.
Anthony's parents must be proud of their son, but what an unfortunate name, given the circumstances. He said he has no plans to drop out of the mayoral race. Narcissists rarely do, by the way. Meanwhile, Eliot Spitzer (if you don't know about his troubles, do a Google search) is seeking election as the Big Apple's next comptroller.
Imagine the two of them getting elected and then aspiring to higher office. As a team. What a great presidential ticket that would be: Weiner Spitzer.
Whiting is executive editor of the Index-Journal. Contact him at 943-2522; email email@example.com ,or follow him on Twitter at IJEDITOR. Views expressed in this column are those of the writer only and do not represent the newspaper's opinion.