I enjoy reading funny quotes. Yogi Berra, the baseball player and manager, and Samuel Goldwyn, the movie maker, were great ones for this. Here are some of their best, plus a few others. Hope you enjoy.

Yogi Berra:

— “It never happened in a World Series competition, and it still hasn’t.”

— “I’ll get it when I die.” (Explaining why he bought a large insurance policy.)

— “I don’t know. They were wearing a paper bag over their head.” (When asked if a streaker was male or female.)

— “He (Steve McQueen) must have made that before he died.” (On a McQueen film.)

— “You couldn’t keep a conversation going. Everybody was talking too much.” (Describing a social function.)

Samuel Goldwyn:

— “A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.”

— “They always bite the hand that lays the golden egg.”

— “She’s colossal in a small way.” (Describing an actress.)

And here are a few others:

— “I didn’t say that I didn’t say it. I said that I didn’t say that I said it. I want to make that very clear.” – George Romney

— “Your benefits have been denied because of your death. If you believe this information is not correct, please contact Social Security.” –From an official Medicare letter

— “I watch a lot of baseball on the radio.” – Gerald Ford

— “New definition: ideogram illumination, or intensity adjustment, or potentiometer. Old definition: dimmer switch.” – From a 1974 Fiat owner’s manual

— “This document does not concern you. Please erase your initials and initial your erasure.” – U.S. Army personnel department

— And one of my favorites: “All ice cubes will be boiled before using.” – U.S. Army, ordering measures to prevent an epidemic

C.P.S. (Curious Postscript): “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.” – Albert Einstein

Curious about something? Send your questions to Dr. Jerry D. Wilson, College of Science and Mathematics, Lander University, Greenwood, SC 29649, or e-mail jerry@curiosity-corner.net. Selected questions will appear in the Curiosity Corner. For Curiosity Corner background, go to www.curiosity-corner.net.